Exactly one year ago I walked into the room with him, he sat an my bed and said, “I want to break up”. Never in my life had I heard five words I hated more. I fell to the ground, immediately started sobbing and asking “why”. I did not eat for five days. I rammed my head into a wall so I could feel some type of pain other than the one my chest was feeling. This is for the girls who think it won’t get better. I promise you it will.
The last thing you want to hear is that it will all be okay. Nothing anyone will tell you will make that seem like a reality. Instead, you’re going to cry while reblogging sad Tumblr posts while you binge eat puffy Cheetos and down some white moscato, or at least that’s what I did. You are going to maybe miss and assignment or fail a test because you can’t see the screen through your swollen shut eyes. All of these things are okay and I would even deem them necessary for a while. If it was a serious relationship and especially if this break up was out of the blue, you have valid reasons to be upset. Trying to suppress them is only going to make it harder.
It may seem dramatic, but I feel as though breaking up is similar to death. If you think about it, both situations leave you without that person you used to talk to day in and day out. You suddenly don’t know who to tell your exciting news to if you should watch the next episode of that tv show you two promised you wouldn’t watch without each other. Breaking up is essentially mourning the loss of a person that is still alive. I know you don’t want to listen to it, but it will get better.
When you think back a year ago you will realize how much time has changed things. I find it motivating to think about how different they will be in another one. The sadness slowly dwindles and sooner or later you will start having days where you don’t check his Instagram. You’ll go on a date and realize all the new opportunities that are now going to be coming your way.
So, you lost a best friend. Think of how many of your friends, family members, and random people every day struggle with this. Find solace in the fact that there are people, just like me, sitting here and writing to you that one year later, my life is wonderful. I lost what I thought to be my main source of happiness and I made it through. If I could have gone back and known what I know now about how things would be, I don’t think I would. It was such a learning experience and has honestly made me appreciate things as well as people a lot more. Now enough with the sappy, motivational stories. Go back to your bed and binge watch a season of Friends.